Confessions of a New Mommy

We are two weeks, and five days into being parents, and I am no longer terrified of my wee babe. In the past two weeks, I have spent my days petrified about what to do with Eden when she is awake.  If not for those deep, soulful eyes that look into mine with such trust, I would have sat quivering in the corner.

Here’s the truth. The last time I was responsible for the care of feeding of a baby was 1978…my Baby Alive. Oh, I’ve been an aunt, several times over…but there’s a big difference in bungling the changing of a diaper that someone else has to deal with and bungling the changing of a diaper that leads to your own demise.

The first time I tried to swaddle Eden, I actually tried my tried and true Baby-Alive-method. Of course, that swaddle was just for show…sort of a make-shift triangle thingy that wrapped around the “baby” and left a little fold at the top for covering the “baby’s” face. Well, swaddling with Eden is more of a life-or-death situation…at least where sleep is concerned. Good swaddle = peaceful sleep for all. Bad swaddle = arg!

So, here are the things that I discovered I could NOT do…and looked to Phil with a million questions on “how do I…” “how should I…”? (Turns out, my man knows a thing or two about babes. He’s a keeper, that one!)

  • HOLDING the baby. Yes…holding the baby…for the love of Pete. She’s so bendy and limp!
  • Changing the diaper…so that the diaper stays put;
  • Using a wipe for a poopy diaper…without making a HUGE mess;
  • Applying diaper cream (she got an ANGRY rash in NICU);
  • Dressing the baby (again with the bendy, limp arms, legs, neck).
  • Swaddling the baby
  • Burping the baby
  • Feeding the baby…actually, all the questions went to the nurses, my sisters, and various friends. Feeding the baby is a post all its own.

In short, I had ZERO skill. My previous experience with Baby Alive did NOT prepare me for motherhood. NO INSTINCTS KICKED IN. No wait, the fight or flight instinct hit the first week. I sooooo wanted to run away! Oh…but those eyes. My child has captivated me with her eyes. I would do anything for her. Even learn how to be a mommy.

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One thought on “Confessions of a New Mommy

  1. Oh, yea! You’re a normal mommy! I remember crying when they said they were discharging me from the hospital because I was thinking, “What? We don’t know what we are doing!!”
    And crying when I didn’t know what to do with an umbilical cord.
    And crying when my mom left.
    That was with baby number 1.
    And crying when I didn’t know what to do with a baby with a circumcised penis.
    That was with baby number 2.
    And crying when I didn’t know what to do with a really bad baby rash that bled.
    That was with baby number 6.
    Know this: our culture no longer teaches girls/women how to mother so most of us have crash courses when our babies arrive.

    You’re a great mama!

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