So, I’m stuck. I want to write about my journey, but don’t know how. Why write about it? It gives me peace and perspective…and I note that others often benefit from an honest telling of life in the trenches. And so, I write…finally…after five months of avoiding my love…I write.
So, I’m officially a stay-at-home-mom. Good grief. That term is ripe with moral/political/social implications. Little did I know that when I applied for the job. Little did I know anything when I applied for the job. In my mind baby = stay at home. Right? Well, for me, yeah. And that alone puts me in a weird category. There’s this whole underground movement of SAHM’s (yes, I am an acronym now.) But the truth is simply this…I don’t know any other way to do it…to raise a child. No, I don’t know how to raise a child, and yes, others with more experience (childcare workers) can probably do it more skillful. But I want to raise my girl. I want to shape her…heaven help her. And so, I’ve taken on this awesome task of shepperding a young soul through the perils and wonders of life. WOW. Big deal…biggest deal.
I’m five months in and have already overcome a whole spectrum of “issues.” I’ve walked through the craziness of not knowing what in the world I’m doing, through postpartum depression, through the beginning stages of “how does one stay home and not lose one’s mind,” through the need to be reminded of “why in the world am I doing this,” and am beginning to walk into the “ahhhh, I can finally breathe” stage. (Thank you, Jesus.)
I reckon I have plenty to write about…best get to it.