Mommy Meltdown

I don’t know about you, but some days are just harder than others…and when the days start stacking up on each other, I dive into the internet for solace. I Google the following topics: “proof that staying home with kids is beneficial,” “encouragement for the stay-at-home mom,”and I find SQUAT…or I find this little gem, “Nine Reasons I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom.” Ug.  And then the voice starts…you let her watch too much TV, you do not give her the structure she needs, you do not read enough scripture to her, you do not read enough quality books to her, oh heck – you just don’t read enough with her.

Oh the seductive voice of condemnation. And I tend to think that if I’m not hitting the mark in one or two areas. then I’m not hitting the mark. Period. Wince. And then of course, I feel bad because I realize what an insanely prideful thought it is to think that if I’m failing in one area, I’m failing in all areas…round and round I go.

And well, Facebook is no friend of the woman faltering in her sense of self. No. Friend. At. All.

And so, after a few too many weeks of too many hard days, I found myself seeking help from Google and heaven help me, Facebook. Guess what, I dove deeper and deeper in the pit of condemnation. I. Am. Not. Enough.

Whew, thank you still, small voice who whispered, “Please God. Just please Him with your parenting, Jan. Just God. Oh, and why don’t you talk to Him about all this stuff? Google and Facebook are poor counselors….”

So, I took Facebook off my phone.

I am up early simply sit before Him…with a nice cup of coffee.

Gotta say, feeling more sane.

Feeling more capable.

Feeling more blessed.

And feeling prettier…with no FB photos to compare self to…just saying.

 

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