This has been a rough ol’ week for our barefoot, outdoor-loving girl. Sigh. Due to an infection in her toe (early cellulitis per the ER visit), Eden’s life has consisted of indoor play and/or SOCKS AND SHOES for outside…followed promptly with a foot bath, a smattering of Neosporin, and bandages. (“Wear your socks and shoes” is NOT my hill to die on…unless it involves, ummm, early cellulitis. I became a bit obsessed with the cleanliness of that toe.)
Needless to say, a few days in, Eden was about at the end of her rope. And her behavior showed it. As I’d endured the week indoors with her, my patience was waning a bit too…and I completely lost perspective of her behavior. What it screamed at me was, “You are failing this child, Jan. She’s a wreck, and it is your fault.” or some such.
Anyhoo, Phil saved the day in the way only Phil can…with calm, measured wisdom delivered in gentle words. It played out something like this:
Me: “Phil…sob, sob, sob…Eden was just awful today.”
Phil: “How so?”
Me: “She is just so selfish. Soooo selfish.”
Phil: “So, you are saying her heart is self-centered?”
Me: “Yes. AND she lied to me. She lied!”
Phil: “Hmmm. So her heart is deceptive? Devious?”
Me: “Yes! And the topper is that she took off her princess shoes and hit her sister on the head.”
Phil: “Mmm. So her heart can be dark and cruel?”
Then it hit me…as I am a bit slow…Phil was describing the human condition. He was describing my heart. Dang! Somehow I thought Eden would escape the curse…I mean, she’s such a sweet child. And have you seen her precious, cherubic face??? She cares for those in pain (unless they are her sister…in which case, she probably caused the pain). She is gentle and sweet (unless someone is playing with her stuff.)
Anyhoo, a weight was lifted for me. Her heart is not mine to “fix.” I can model kindness…but that heart of stone can only be replaced with something soft and malleable by the Creator of said heart. Til then, let’s hope Darling learns to fend for herself.