Oh these days! I tell Phil most every morning, “Oh! These are the days, Phil.” These are the days we will remember and cherish always. We “sit” around the table early in the morning…Eden standing in her chair with her adorably round belly protruding just so…naked for potty training ease…Darling in her high chair, pinching Cheerios…giggly. Utter and sheer joy. And I’m here. I’m in it. I’m soaking it all in…pressing each moment into my soul…praising and aching and giggling with our girls. Oh my joy.
And oh my gratitude! I have a history of struggling to live the moment…continuously jumping ahead…missing what is before me. And in a single night, that fearful habit…that inability to sit in an experience…was erased by a loving God who wanted to teach me to stay…and then to flood my life with moments around a breakfast table with an adoring husband and two cherubs.
It was in waiting for a heart to stop…all night long, the sweetest voice whispered to my heart “Stay, Jan. Stay here. Feel his heart. Stay. Stay. Stay.” And for the first time in my life, I lived the moment…and the power of that experience overwhelmed my fear…my doubt…my restless spirit.
In these moments?
My God, my God….