Phil and I just attended a marriage retreat…replete with resources on family matters. I noticed a whole section on talking to your teen/tween/kiddo about s-e-x…when to have the talk…how to have the talk. I found the whole thing to be…daunting.
And please, let me apologize in advance for the language I will use in this post. It will likely make you squirm. Before kids, discussing s-e-x made me squirm too…but so did discussing bathroom habits. But as those of us who have dealt with toddlers know, discussions about bodily functions are…well…mundane…and constant. For example:
Denver: “I tooted.”
Eden: “Eww. my poo-poo stinks.”
Denver: “I poo-poo.”
Eden: “Wow, my poo-poo looks like a worm!”
Well, thanks to a FABULOUS book gifted to me by Melissa Griffin (thank you, thank you), Eden and I have learned ALL ABOUT the human body…including the name of that private part on girls. “It” is called a vulva. And Eden and I have called “it” a vulva from the get-go. And now, Denver has joined the vulva discussions…and the penis discussions…and the anus discussions. These body parts kinda go hand-in-hand with pee-pee and poo-poo. (Yeah, I can say vulva, yet cannot bring myself to say urine. Go figure.)
Anyhoo, my MOPS (Mothers of PreschoolerS) group recently had a human sexuality expert as a guest speaker. Her topic was discussing sex with our kiddos. She gave me the “permission” I needed to take the candid conversations with my girls to the next level. We moved from poo-poo to periods…cause, uh…I rarely get a moment alone in the bathroom.
So now, this is a “normal” discussion in our household.
Denver: “What dat?”
Me: “It is a tampon.”
Denver: “What dat?” (points to…uh…well…)
Me: “That’s blood. My uterus is bleeding because I did not make a baby this month.”
BOOM. That’s how you introduce “the talk.” All comfy. All cozy. All natural. (If you can discuss poo-poo, you can discuss the reproductive cycle. Plus, it wasn’t but a very few years ago that your wee babe made the journey out your vagina. So, uh…your kids are pretty comfy with the whole discussion. But…add a few years…of NOT discussing the natural order of things and BAM, you have a very awkward situation. Right?)
Anyhoo, I am hoping our discussions just naturally progress. I confessed to our guest speaker that while I can talk to my girls candidly with a calm voice, my insides often quiver. Yet, the more we talk, the more natural it feels. By the time we discuss the production of babies, I am hoping for a calm interior!